Will I Ever...

... stop needing to go in and check on her while she sleeps?

I love how you can just see that her right arm is up by her face through the blanket.  Don't love that she put her blanket over her face.

That picture was from another night (I couldn't believe she'd busted her swaddle already - it'd only been 30 minutes!), but every night is the same. Until I fall asleep, I periodically have to go in and check on her. Mostly I just want to make sure she's breathing. I'm blessed to have a good nighttime sleeper at 2 months old already, but when she's still on the monitor for too long, well, I worry.

Yes, it's 79 degrees in her room at 10:00pm right now.

They drill into your head the scariness of SIDS, and that sure sticks with you.  Plus, Ruby has choked on her spit while sleeping a couple of times already, totally freaking us out.  She was always fine, and able to breathe, and scream because it scared her.  And we were awake still both times, and heard her make a funny noise, and ran in to get her as she started to scream, but still...  The hallway seems so long when it is separating me from my baby.

So I'll stare at the monitor.  I'll convince myself she's fine, and I don't need to go in there.  Then five seconds later, get up to go do it.  Luckily, Ruby must have a sixth sense about me.  More often than not, just as I've decided, that's it, I'm going in, she stirs.  It is just enough to calm my new-mommy nerves.  Until next time.